The Difference?
by Storybookgirl08
Summary: Set post One Night Only? Ruth learns what the difference is with Harry.She finally begins to face her demons. My attempt at adult fluff. Not for kiddies. Please review.


**Disclaimer. I do not own Spooks. All, bar original characters belong to Kudos and BBC television. M rated but probably mildly. **

**The Difference?**

Ruth opened her eyes as the sunlight began to seep through the bedroom curtains. She really didn't want to get out of bed. It was far too early, especially after the night before. Groaning slightly she stretched as her mind began to win over her heart. It was time to get up, no matter how much she wanted to stay in her nice, warm and far too comfy for her own good bed. It was then she felt the warm and heavy arm around her waist. Smiling slightly she tried to think of a way to get up without waking the now very asleep Harry.

"Harry." She whispered as his arm tightened his hold on her. She smiled slightly as she realised he probably wasn't as asleep as she had previously thought. Memories began flooding her mind. How he had walked her home from the Grid. How she had invited him into her ridiculously unwelcoming former MI6 flat. She hated it but asking Harry in had seemed the right thing to do. She had half mumbled the invite as he had kissed her while they had stood on her doorstep in full view of the neighbours. After all they had been on a couple of dates since the first time he had walked her home via the chip shop. She had never intended to end up in bed with him. Never intended to kiss him and be kissed by him the way she had been. Or touched the way she had been. It hadn't occured to her that Harry would be different to the other men she had been with. But of course he was different. They were different. She screwed her eyes shut as she tried to stop the tears from falling. It was just too much.

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Harry lay with Ruth's back facing him in bed. He had no intention of going to the Grid on time. The JIC meeting he knew he was obliged to attend was the last thing he wanted to think about, especially as the memories of the night before flooded his mind. Ruth. He was in bed with Ruth. He had hardly dared dream he would find himself in the situation he was in now. Quietly he tightened his hold on her naked form as he realised she was crying softly.

"Ruth?" He felt his heart constrict as he spoke. Of all the reactions he had expected Ruth quietly breaking her heart was not what he had expected. He kissed her bare shoulder as she turned her head away slightly. "Ruth? What is it?"

"Nothing." Ruth whispered as her hand came to rest on his.

"I should go." He made to slip his hand from beneath hers as she tightened her grip on him.

"No." She sniffed as Harry froze.

"You're crying. I should never. Last night. I. Ruth, I."

"Ssh." She turned slightly so she could face him, now aware of what he was thinking. "It isn't you.." She sniffed slightly as Harry raised an eyebrow. "Well, it's not your fault." Ruth knew she was beginning to babble as Harry pulled her gently to him.

"Then why?" He kissed her hair as she sighed heavily, finally collecting herself.

"I'm just being sentimental." Ruth sighed as Harry began drawing imaginary circles on her shouder.

"Ruth." Harry's voice left no room for argument. Ruth smiled slightly, knowing that he hadn't intended on being so sharp with her. He just wanted answers. She closed her eyes again as his hand stilled on her shouder.

"It's just last night."

"What about it? Was I too forward? Too soon?" Harry hated the way his insecurities seemed out through his voice. Ruth closed her eyes once more as she planted a kiss on his chest.

"No. Not soon enough if you ask me. This should have happened years ago."

"Then what?"

"I'm 39 years old and I've finally learned the difference."

"Ok." Harry paused as he raised his head to look at her. "Now, I am lost."

"Between sex and making love."

"Ah." Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. He hoped his ego wasn't about to be completely crumpled on but the thought that any man had hurt his Ruth. Abused her trust, just made him feel sick.

"I wasn't a virgin. You know that."

"Funny enough, neither was I." Harry smiled slightly as she raised her eyes to his and shot him a glare Ros would have been proud of.

"Harry."

"Sorry."

"But what happened last night."

"We made love." Harry stated as if it was an every day occurance. He secretly hoped it would become one but he still had enough sense to keep his opinion to himself. Ruth smiled slightly as she nodded.

"Yes, yes we did."

"And?"

"And I think it was the first time that has happened for me." She looked away, blushing heavily as Harry's hand moved lower.

"Really?"

"Yes." She almost whispered her reply. Harry tilted her chin up to make her look at him. His eyes met hers as she blinked back tears.

"Then everyone who came before me."

"Three Harry. Only three." She sighed. "And you know about them all."

"With the exception of the first one who in my opinion should rot in Hell, they are idiots."

"Harry."

"Ruth."

"You know how I feel about you. You've always known."

Ruth nodded slightly as the sunlight now streamed through the curtains.

"I love you too." She sighed as he held her close to him. He kissed her hair as he whispered as she listened to his steady heartbeat.

"Well, that explains it then." He stated matter of a factly as Ruth listened to his heartbeat. She felt her eyes fall closed as Harry continued drawing soft imaginary circles on her skin. "And thats the way it'll always be for us. Love."

"So this is going to be a regular occurance?" Ruth mumbled as her eyes stayed closed. Harry chuckled slightly as he held her to him.

"Oh I hope so." He sighed. "After all we have to test that theory of yours. See if there really is a difference?"

Ruth smiled as she propped her head up on one hand to look at him. Harry smiled slightly, aware that Ruth was the only woman who actually managed to make him blush. She held his gaze as he swallowed hard.

"I think we really should test that theory sooner rather than later." She yelped as he turned her so she was laying on her back with him hovering over her.

"As you wish." Harry smiled as he began kissing her exposed skin. Ruth sighed. It was the first morning he had been late for the JIC meeting, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be the last.

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A/N Hope it wasn't too awful. Back to Silent Night? Later

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